I sense myself at a bit of a creative crossroads. I need a change. I need TO change, to return to what I once was rather than what I think I need to be. I’ve had a quarter of a century shooting mainly for others and whilst it has been fun it has done little for my creativity. I feel that I’m taking control again, or rather letting go of the control and beginning to shoot for me. For the artist within.
The mission statement on my website is ‘reconnecting with nature through the craft of photography’ and really does sum up what I want to do, who I want to be. Yes, nature has given me so much, she has held me in times of difficulty and gifted me inspiration again and again. Lately though I’ve felt a certain disconnect and I need to get to the bottom of it. So I’m going to give myself permission to shoot for me, not exclusively, but certainly mainly.
Of course I am still accepting many of the commissions that I’m offered as I make this transition and may well continue to do so, however I’ve been toying with the idea of letting go of the title ‘professional photographer’ which I’ve jealously guarded and worn as a badge of worth for all of my adult life. I want to co-create with nature, to co-create with others.
The camera is my tool as is my Mac but merely recording what I see may no longer be enough. I’m toying with ‘photo artist’ as a descriptor for me, if indeed I need one. Documenting the natural world is no longer fulfilling me, I want to communicate the connection to my viewers.
I’m going to play with monochromes more, to composite images together more, to explore different ratios, formats and media. I sense a tiny glimmer of excitement again in my belly that may one day overwhelm the apprehension that often ties knots around my creativity.